


A cupcake and a friend

by flightinflame



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Presents, Cinnamon Roll Dirk Gently, F/F, Families of Choice, Gen, M/M, One Big Happy Family, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 03:57:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14968604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/pseuds/flightinflame
Summary: Dirk doesn't normally celebrate his birthday, and Mona doesn't even know when hers is. Todd feels they need to do it differently this year.





	A cupcake and a friend

"What should I get for Amanda's birthday?" Todd asked the agency as a whole. "I mean, normally it’s just a CD or whatever but..." his voice trailed off.  
"You want something that says 'sorry for lying to you for most of your life?' That's tricky," Dirk contributed, and got a glare for his trouble. 

"Maybe some stuff for the van?" Farah suggested.  
"How about a cushion?" Mona asked. "Or a blanket, or a cushion and a blanket?" 

Todd remembered to breathe deeply, and not to shout at her sudden appearance. She wasn't doing it to frighten him, she was just trying to help. However, there was something very unnerving about finding the pen he had been doodling with turning into Dirk's best friend. (That being said, it did at least explain why the ink had kept changing colours.)  
"I... guess?" Todd suggested, and glanced over at Farah.  
"You've got like, three weeks to decide Todd," She pointed out, returning to the calendar she was working on. "Dirk, when's your birthday?"  
"14th June," Dirk answered, and Farah frowned.  
"That was... last week?" Todd murmured. "You didn't say anything?"  
"I didn't need to." Dirk shrugged. "We went and saw Hobbs that weekend and I got to order pizza, so-"  
"No." Todd turned and glared at him. "Dirk that... that's not okay. You have to tell us these things."  
"Why?" Dirk frowned. "I mean, it’s not like we're all going to wear party hats and sing happy birthday, that's ..." his voice faded for a moment, and he crossed his arms across his chest. "That's for children. I'm not a child."

Mona moved to sit beside him, rubbing his back.  
"What about you Mona?" Farah asked, a little more cautiously, trying to give Dirk a chance to recover himself. Todd wanted to yell, but Dirk looked like he might cry if he yelled at him so he stayed quiet.

"I don't know when my birthday is. They've probably got it on my file, but I don't know,"  
"You could pick one," Todd suggested, feeling slightly frantic because he needed to have birthdays for them, needed to have days that they had marked out as theirs. His own birthday had never been a particularly big thing, but he'd still celebrated. He'd still _acknowledged_ it in some way, and he didn't want them not to have it.

"What about the day I first met Dirk?" Mona asked, and Dirk nodded a little.  
"We won't know what day that is sweetie," Farah said softly, and Dirk shook his head.  
"I know. It was the... the 14th of June. Because... it was a birthday present. I got a cupcake and a friend." He shrugged a little. "That... my first birthday in Blackwing. The rest weren't so good, but that first one-"

"We're twins?" Mona asked, looking at Dirk hopefully. He nodded, and embraced her, and Todd could see his eyes were full of tears. Todd didn't want to pry, didn't want to open up a box when he wouldn't be able to contain what came out, but this he could do.

"Well, we missed celebrating for both of you, and that's not very good, but we can fix this."  
"We can?" Mona asked hopefully, bouncing a little where she sat and managing to remain human to hear what he was saying.  
"Well, the two of you can have a joint party in a few days?"

"Can there be cake?" Mona asked hopefully, and Farah nodded. Todd nodded as well.  
"We can get Amanda and the Rowdies, and they can have the piñata," Todd thought quickly. "And Hobbs and Tina. We could all go to Bergsberg if you like." He glanced at Dirk, half expecting him to protest, but Dirk nodded slowly.  
"And… jelly and icecream?" he asked, and Todd smiled at him.

"Sure thing. And milkshakes. And we can play party games and sing songs and wear party hats if you want." Todd hesitated, glancing at Farah who was already sending off text messages.   
"And I won't..." Dirk started to ask, and then shook his head and smiled. "That sounds good."  
"We'll only do what you want to Dirk, you know that."

Dirk nodded, and Mona turned into a party hat beside him. She had a particularly fetching silver pompom on the top, and was covered in glittery rainbow stripes. With a roll of his eyes, Dirk picked her up and placed her on his head. He looked at Todd, and when he smiled it looked like he was being brave.  
"Happy birthday to us I guess?"

"So, uh," Farah cleared her throat. "Is it a special birthday for either of you?"

What happened next was almost too fast for Todd to follow. The rainbow hat that had been perched quite calmly on top of Dirk's head grew, slipping down to cover his face and then his shoulders, then his chest, touching the sofa in the space of a few seconds. From inside, Todd could make out the muffled sound of Dirk's voice, murmuring soft words that he could only assume were reassurances. 

The hat remained for a few moments around Dirk, before it morphed into a large suitcase.The suitcase had rainbow stripes then seemed to think better of it and became a very boring green. Dirk was nowhere to be seen. A moment later a paper label fluttered into existence declaring 'this sootcase contains no Dirks'.

"The... fuck," Todd muttered, before reaching out and resting his hand on the side of the suitcase. When Mona didn't attack him, he carefully unzipped her, freeing Dirk. Dirk smiled at him gratefully when he lifted the lid off, but didn't step out, choosing to remain sat inside the suitcase and patting it with both hands, cooing gently.  
"It's alright, we're safe now, I won't let anyone hurt you. It's okay..."  
Slowly the suitcase disappeared, and there was a teddy in Dirk's hands. He pressed a kiss to its forehead before climbing up onto the sofa, and Todd tried to work out what had just occurred.  
"Dirk?" Farah queried, and he shrugged.  
"Uh, Blackwing's idea of a special birthday was that we were old enough for a new set of experiments. Ones that they wouldn't do to a child, because the procedures were too dangerous, too invasive or too painful." He was rocking the bear in his arms, and Todd sat down beside him.

"We don't... we don't have to do a birthday thing Dirk. Not if you don't want to."  
"Mona wants to," Dirk answered. "And I want... I want her to be happy. She's not had this chance before. And I trust you. I know she does too, even if she gets scared sometimes."

Todd nodded, and embraced Dirk, pulling him against his shoulder. Dirk nuzzled against him, holding out Mona, who Todd cuddled gingerly.  
"I wouldn't let her anywhere near you if I didn't trust you, you know?" Dirk said softly, and Todd knew the truth of that statement. If he was being allowed to hold Mona it was because Dirk trusted him utterly, and that was an honour that was almost beyond his ability to handle.

Farah moved closer.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Don't be," Dirk said. "It wasn't you who hurt us. She's just... she's only just learning what it’s like to have friends that aren't projects." He shrugged a little. "In Blackwing everyone was either a Project, and quite possibly dangerous, or staff and definitely dangerous. The thought of people who aren't either... a whole world of people who aren't Blackwing - that's a lot to get your head around, even when its not filled with stuffing."

Todd nodded slowly.  
"So what are we going to do for this party?"  
A smile slowly spread across Dirk's face.

***

A week later, and everything valuable within the Agency had been carefully placed into the store cupboard so that it didn't accidentally get destroyed by Acts Of Rowdy. The desks had been moved back, and the sofas and cushions had been carried down from upstairs floors in the Agency to the main office. 

There was bunting in rainbow colours up on the wall, and numerous balloons floating by the ceiling and resting on the floor. A pile of party hats were waiting on the table, along with numerous party games - Dirk had panicked at the mere concept of 'pin the tail on the donkey' but had accepted the idea of pass the parcel and balloon races. Todd was using an old trick from when his sister was younger, and planning to play Sleeping Lions when it all got a bit too much. He didn't want to play hide and seek - Mona was a little too good at it, and anyway he always found it reminded him of previous attempts, when he possibly hadn't looked for his sister as hard as he should have.

Still, there were a list of games that Dirk could play, and there was a table filled with party food, sweets and chips and chocolate and sausage rolls, and a big birthday cake for the two of them. 

Dirk and Mona had gone to get an ice cream each to celebrate their birthday, taking some time to relax together and let Farah and Todd put together the final touches in peace.

The doorbell rang, and Todd went to open it, beaming when he saw Hobbs standing there. Hobbs grinned, but before he could say anything Tina was pushing past, running to Farah, and the two of them embraced tightly. A moment later he noticed that they were kissing, and he raised an eyebrow at Hobbs, wondering when exactly that development had happened. Hobbs shrugged and grinned.  
"Where is the birthday boy anyway?"  
"He and Mona went to the shop, they won't be long," Todd answered. "He's a bit nervous about today, it'll mean a lot to him that you're here."  
Hobbs looked a little embarrassed at that, but smiled brightly at the compliment.  
"You guys are the first here," Todd explained, sighing a little. "Uh, you remember what I told you?"  
"No mentioning special birthdays, expect anti-cop sentiment from your sister's boyfriends, and if Mona decides she wants to be an object that's fine," Hobbs repeated, and then moved to the side, revealing two large boxes - one wrapped in rainbow striped paper, the other in pink glittery paper.  
"Tina and I thought they'd like matching presents."

"We would," Dirk answered as he arrived beside Hobbs, embracing him.  
"Where's Mona?" Todd asked, and was rewarded by Dirk holding up a doll in a bright yellow dress, the same shade as his jacket.  
"She was feeling tired," he answered, placing her on the sofa. A moment later, Mona was sitting there, still dressed to match Dirk.

Hobbs took a deep breath, but smiled, and Tina frowned a little, moving away from Farah for a moment.  
"Dirk, is your sister a doll?"  
"Sometimes?" Dirk answered nervously, a frown forming as he tensed, hand protectively on Mona's shoulder.  
"Oh. That's cool," Tina answered, before returning to kissing Farah. Farah pulled away, dragging Tina towards the kitchen. 

Hobbs paused, carefully placing the boxes to one side, then going to crouch in front of Mona, holding out his hand.  
"Hello Miss, it's nice to meet you."

She giggled softly, waving at him and then shyly taking his hand.  
"Dirk likes you," she told him. "You're a good friend."  
"Thank you, he's told me a lot about you. You're a good friend too." Hobbs smiled, and then grinned as Mona leaned forwards and embraced him for a moment, before looking up as a loud noise rumbled down the road.  
"Incubus?"  
"The Rowdy Three," Dirk corrected gently, and Mona nodded to herself.

Todd felt himself tense slightly, even as Dirk beamed and ran to the door, embracing Amanda as soon as she got there. She hugged him back, and waved at Mona, who returned the gesture enthusiastically with both hands. Amanda was followed by the rest of the Rowdies, and Beast immediately made her way to Dirk holding a rear view mirror.   
"Pressie fer Bibbit."  
"Thank you?" Dirk smiled. "That's very kind."  
"An fer jackegerl." Beast pulled a cracked cup from her pocket. Mona squeaked in delight, placing the cup on the side and then leaning in to hug her. Beast poked her away nervously.  
"No jumpee jackegirl?"  
"It's alright..." Mona patted Beast's hair. "I'm sorry I scared you before."

Todd was handing beers around to the others, trying to make sure that everyone was comfortable, and Farah gave Hobbs and Tina some lemonade. Once everyone was settled on various sofas (or in the Rowdies' case a large pile on the floor) Dirk stood up, clearing his throat slightly. His hands gripped each other, his fingers turning white

"Thank you all for coming here today, to celebrate mine and Mona's birthday. I haven't had a birthday party for a while, and Mona doesn't remember having one at all, but even if I had had one every year, this would be the best party ever. Because all I wanted, ever since I was young, was to have a friend. Someone who knew that I wasn't like the others, and didn't care, who liked me even when I did things I shouldn't or was weird. Who liked me for me, not for what I could do. And I thought that would never happen. And I met Mona, and she... she was amazing, and she's my little sister-" She had moved to lean against his side, and he held her for a moment before he continued. "But this year has been different. This year, I've made friends, with people I could never have dreamed of, and people I never thought I would see as friends. I..." He took a deep shuddering breath, glancing at each of them. Todd could see he was blinking back tears.

Mona responded to his distress by turning into a teddy bear which he clutched against his chest as he continued.   
"I dreamed of having a friend, just one, so that I wasn't alone. And now I've got... I've got so many of you. And every single person here is wonderful. I'm so lucky to have you. I have people to talk to when I'm sad, to message because I'm bored, to laugh with and to love. I have... I have a family, and I have my sister, and things are just..." he hesitated, frowning a little. "And just... thank you for coming here today." He swallowed, glancing at them each in turn, nodding slightly when he managed a moment's eye contact with Martin. When applause broke out, he blushed, hiding his face in Mona's fur, and everyone pretended that they couldn't see his tears. Todd stood up, walking over and hugging him tightly. Dirk burrowed his face into Todd's neck, shaking against him and murmuring thanks.

"So," Martin called out. "Game time right? Rowdies versus the rest of you losers?"  
Amanda whooped, and Dirk considered.   
"I suppose so, but we're down a player at the moment."  
"You just want an excuse for when we kick your ass." Martin grinned at him, and Todd glanced around the room, considering the comparative stability of various surfaces.

***

Sleeping Lions was a hit, when the piñata had been broken and everyone was full of cake and sweets. Dirk had looked a little confused to be given a bowl of icecream with raspberry jelly poured on top, but had taken it gratefully, and when Todd had taken a spoonful he had to admit that it wasn't actually that bad. Now, everyone other than Hobbs was lying on the floor. Mona was a pillow for Dirk, and Todd was holding Dirk's hand. Hobbs walked around, looking for anyone moving while actually just giving them all an excuse to nap. 

The fact Hobbs wasn't trying particularly hard was emphasised by the way he loudly ignored the way Vogel was squirming on the floor, half pinned by Martin and Amanda and still wearing the brightly coloured necklace made from sweets he had won in pass the parcel. Beast was also bouncing slightly under the table, but Hobbs was not paying any attention to her either, and Todd was glad for that. After a long day, he was grateful for the chance to collapse beside Dirk and relax.

Dirk was smiling at Todd, a gentle expression that was always very different from his public grin.   
"Did it," he mouthed, and Todd nodded. 

"Vogel, you just rolled over," Hobbs pointed out, before carefully picking each of the others. The Rowdies all were out fairly soon, and Tina not long after, before she tickled Farah (technically, she broke the no-touching rule, but Farah didn't raise an objection). It was only Dirk, Todd and Mona left, and Todd wasn't entirely sure that Mona was playing. Todd closed his eyes, determined to win, until he heard a loud bang beside his head. He yelped, scrambling up and finding Amanda grinning down at him, holding the remains of a balloon which she promptly dropped on his head.

"Can I give Mona the present I got her?" Dirk suggested, realising he and Mona were joint winners of the game.  
At that, Mona reformed into a human, looking excited. She hurried to the desk, picking out a card and carrying it back to Dirk carefully.

Todd watched as Dirk turned it over in his hands, gaze lingering on the cover which showed a drawing of the Panic Pete with "Happy Birthday!" written above it. Dirk opened the card and smiled brightly, leaning in and cuddling her to him before handing her his own card.

Todd watched the amazement with which the two of them received every card, clearly surprised that anyone had bothered to give them anything. Then the presents were handed over - Mona was utterly thrilled to be given notebooks and movies and a few boxes, and Dirk was left blinking back tears as each person handed him a present - be it a knuckle duster (Cross), a headband (Vogel), a knife (Martin), a collection of patches (Amanda), some half-used nail varnish (Gripps), a home popcorn maker (Farah) or a small bouncy ball (Mona). He hugged each of them, thanking them as though they had made his world.

Hobbs and Tina carried over their presents.  
"Happy birthday," Hobbs murmured, as Tina grinned at Mona. The two of them opened the boxes eagerly, then squealed, pulling out matching two-foot tall teddy bears. Dirk grinned, and then glanced at Todd with pleading eyes.

Todd could already feel his resolve crumbling.  
"Alright. You can keep it in our room as long as it doesn't cause any trouble."  
Dirk blew him a kiss in response, so Todd focused on that and not the muttering from the Rowdies. Then he sat down beside Dirk and threw an arm around his shoulder.  
"I got you a lava lamp."

Dirk stared at him in shock.  
"You said they're hideous."  
"They are hideous Dirk. This one is glittery and neon. It's awful. But you said you wanted one, and I know you don't like sleeping in the dark. So we have a lava lamp now."  
Dirk grinned, and then glanced over towards the remaining food.  
"Shall we order pizza?"

The Rowdies howled in response, and Farah tried to work out the orders as Todd took the opportunity to kiss his boyfriend.  
"Happy Birthday Dirk."  
"Happy birthday To-" Dirk started to reply, before his eyes widened in mild horror. The two of them looked at each other for a moment, before they both began to laugh.

In the end, Todd felt that for the first birthday in a while, it had been a success.


End file.
